A Fey Christmas
by WeirdMisty
Summary: Unable to carry out his usual Christmas traditions, Phoenix instead spends the holiday with Maya and Pearl.
1. Chapter 1

Phoenix Wright twiddled his thumbs as he stared out the train window, breath fogging the window as he watched the scenery roll by in a blur. Everything he could see was white; ground and trees were hardly visible under a thick coating of snow, and the sky was bleached white, threatening to bear down more of the sparkling snowflakes at any moment. It was a tremendous sight, and he found himself wishing that Los Angeles was more prone to such weather. _Ah well,_ he thought with a shrug. _That's not where I'm spending Christmas, anyway._

Maya had invited him to come to Kurain and share in their celebration of the winter holiday. He'd gladly accepted the offer, remembering that he'd have otherwise spent the holiday alone. Normally, he and Larry celebrated together, drinking and hitting on girls, and exchanging terrible presents that each man knew the other wouldn't want. This year, however, Larry had a girlfriend at the right time, and Phoenix had been left to fend for himself. Maya's invitation was just the escape he needed from a lonely and depressing Christmas.

He had no idea how the Fey clan celebrated Christmas, of course. Maya had mentioned that they had traditions, which made Phoenix nervous. The last time she'd decided to show him Kurain "traditions" - his birthday party, which she'd insisted would be ten times better if celebrated in Kurain style - he'd spent an hour trying to find his clothes after Maya had taken them, hoping none of the Fey girls saw him naked. When Pearl had finally brought him his suit (covering her eyes, naturally) he'd been less than thrilled to learn that there was no Kurain tradition that mandated nudity for any reason on one's birthday. Christmas, Phoenix firmly told himself, was not going to be a repeat of that event.

He glanced at his suitcase, resting on the seat opposite of him. He'd packed lightly; he would only be staying for a few days, after all. But there was still little room, because he'd brought quite a number of presents for Maya and Pearl. Phoenix had had some difficulty trying to determine what to get the Fey girls, but knew he couldn't just show up empty handed, and so had eventually raided a toy store, selecting gifts he hoped were appropriate.

He was stirred from his thoughts as the train pulled to a halt at the station, a gentle bump telling him that the ride was over. He glanced out the window, unsurprised to notice that very few people were waiting outside. He couldn't imagine anyone wanting to spend too much time outside – not when the temperature was in the single digits. Already, he was dreading the walk to Kurain from the station. It was only about a mile, but it wouldn't be a pleasant trip. Grabbing up his suitcase, he got off the train and headed towards the station to warm up before heading out towards Kurain.

He'd hardly taken a step off the train when he was tackled from the side roughly, and found himself lying in the snow, staring up at a figure bundled in a large purple jacket. "Maya?" he asked incredulously. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be waiting at Kurain."

The spirit medium grinned impishly as she held out a gloved hand to help him up. "What, and let you walk back there all alone in the snow?"

Phoenix laughed as he accepted her hand, brushing the snow from himself as he rose. Already, the moisture from the snow was creeping into his pants, the cold nipping at his legs, but he couldn't quite bring himself to care. "It's just as cold for you as it is for me, Maya."

Maya waggled a finger at the defense attorney. "Nope! Not quite. You see, I've got something that'll make the trip twice as fast and twice as fun." Phoenix raised an eyebrow and followed the young woman as she led him around to the side of the train station. Sitting beside the brick wall was a gleaming red vehicle, and Phoenix's jaw dropped.

"A snowmobile? When did you get that?"

"It belongs to the whole clan, " Maya replied offhandedly. "Since we get so much snow every year, the elders decided to get it a few weeks ago, so if we have to go anywhere, it'll be easier." She sat on the vehicle and grabbed Phoenix's arm, yanking him into the seat behind her, adding, "C'mon! Wait 'til you see how fast this thing goes!" Before Phoenix even had a chance to respond, Maya revved the machine to life, and the defense attorney quickly planted his hands on Maya's shoulders, nervous about trusting Maya to drive safely.

"How much experience do you have with this thing?" Phoenix demanded as the snowmobile shot forward, icy air stinging his cheeks.

"Driving here was my first time," Maya yelled back, the wind whipping her voice away so that Phoenix hardly caught the answer. "But I'm a natural! I almost hit some trees, but almost doesn't count, right?" Phoenix paled and his grip on Maya's shoulders tightened.

- - -

Fortunately, the pair arrived at the village quickly and without incident (although there were a few close calls, and though he was too numb from the cold to tell, Phoenix was afraid that he might have wet himself). Maya grinned as she got off. "See, Nick? Wasn't that fun?" She turned to face her companion, who was a strange shade of green, and was staring dully ahead. "Nick?"

Phoenix shook his head, trying to regain his bearings. "Maya... I will gladly walk ten miles in the snow _barefoot_ if I never have to ride that thing with you again." The spirit medium stared at him a moment before bursting into laughter.

"That's why I love having you around, Nick. You've got a great sense of humor." Ignoring the feeble protests from the defense attorney, Maya latched onto his arm and pulled him along until they reached Fey Manor. "Pearly's really excited that you're here. She can't wait to see you." Some of the color returned to Phoenix's face as he smiled, fondly recalling the affectionate child.

The two entered the manor, and indeed, Pearl was waiting. Phoenix had barely crossed the foyer before he found himself the victim of a tackle-hug, not unlike the one he'd received from Maya earlier that day. He couldn't help grinning as he hugged the young girl back, dropping to his knees so he cold see her at eye level. "Heya, Pearls," he greeted.

Pearl gave a bubbly smile. "Mr. Nick! We missed you so much! I'm so glad you came!" He found her excitement contagious, and it wasn't long before all three were laughing and smiling as they launched into stories of what they'd been up to. It was a long while before Phoenix remembered to unpack and, remembering his gifts for the girls as he pulled them from his suitcase, he resolved to slip them under the tree that night, when Maya and Pearl had gone to sleep. Hiding them under his bed, he came back out and joined the Fey girls in the dining room so that they could explain their Christmas traditions over dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

"No way, Maya. No way." Only a few minutes into the description, Phoenix found himself seriously doubting the so-called traditions of the Fey clan once more. He looked over at Pearl, who was carefully avoiding meeting his eyes, and his wariness strengthened.

"Oh, come on, Nick!" Maya protested, pouting as she gazed up at the lawyer. Phoenix ignored her puppy-dog face. "Don't you believe me?"

Phoenix laughed. "Of course I don't, Maya! Or don't you remember my birthday?"

The spirit medium bit her lip guiltily, looking away. "C'mon... it was just a joke. No need to get your panties in a twist..."

Phoenix stared at her in disbelief. "You! I... b-but...!" He shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a long sigh. "You know what? I'm not even going to argue this." He turned to Pearl. "Pearls, tell me. Is there any Fey Christmas tradition that all men have to go skinny-dipping at midnight?"

The medium-in-training glanced at Maya briefly, looking guilty. "Sorry, Mystic Maya... I can't lie to Mr. Nick!" Sniffling, she turned back to Phoenix. "N-no, Mr. Nick, there isn't." Phoenix grinned triumphantly at Maya and Pearl added, "What is skinny-dipping, anyway?"

The two adults in the room exchanged embarrassed looks before answering in unison, "I'll tell you when you're older."

Christmas eve came upon the trio not long after, and it was that night that Phoenix found himself, for once, truly appreciative of the chaos around him. Between Pearl unsubtly hanging mistletoe in doorways and trying to coerce he and Maya to walk through together, and Maya's disturbing homespun lyrics to classic Christmas songs, the defense attorney found that for all the riches in the world, he wouldn't trade his friendship with the Feys. Though things had quieted down now that the day was winding to a close, Phoenix still felt giddy and wound up – most likely, he supposed, due to the fact that it wasn't long before Christmas. He was very much looking forward to seeing Maya and Pearl unwrap their gifts. He turned in his bed, willing himself to become more tired. It didn't work.

A soft knock at his door caught his attention, and Phoenix rolled out of bed to see who it was. Swinging open the door, he found himself looking down at Pearl, clad in a pink nightgown, looking rather distressed.

"Pearls? What is it?"

"I can't sleep," the girl confessed. "I'm too excited. But if I don't, Santa won't come! What should I do?"

Phoenix scratched the back of his head, feeling awkward. Much as he cared for the child, he had zero experience with children, and he wasn't sure at all that he'd know how to help. "Er... maybe Maya can help you?"

She bit her lip. "Mystic Maya's already sleep, though."

Phoenix inwardly despaired. "Okay, um... tell you what, Pearls. Why don't we go back to your room, and I'll tell you a story, okay? Maybe that'll help you sleep." He was answered with a bright smile. Phoenix returned the gesture halfheartedly, hoping that he'd actually be able to get the young girl to sleep.

"What kind of story are you going to tell?" Pearl asked as they arrived at her bedroom door.

Phoenix rubbed his chin in consideration as he followed her into her room. He hadn't thought that far... _What's a good story for bedtime?_ He banished notions of the Steel Samurai as quickly as they arose in his head – no, an action-packed warrior wasn't going to put anyone to sleep. _Let's see... it's Christmas eve, so maybe..._ "I've got it!" He snapped his fingers, wincing when Pearl glanced up, mildly alarmed. "That is... how would you like to hear a story about Christmas?"

"Oh! That sounds absolutely perfect, Mr. Nick!" The young medium-to-be hopped into her bed, and Phoenix smiled as she pulled the blankets up to her chin, sitting on the corner of the bed after she'd settled herself in.

"Okay, Pearls. It's called 'The Night Before Christmas'. I don't know if you've heard it before, but my mom always told it to me on Christmas eve so I could sleep." Pearl nodded attentively, and Phoenix, sucking in a deep breath, began the poem.

"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."

Pearl gasped, looking terrified. "Oh, no! Are they..." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Are they _dead?" _

Phoenix blinked, startled by the question. "What? N-no, of course not! They're just asleep, that's all." Pearl let out a sigh of relief, apparently mollified, and Phoenix warily continued.

"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,  
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there."

Once again, Phoenix was interrupted. "Who's Saint Nicky-liss?"

The defense attorney inwardly groaned. How could she not know that? For what was far from the first time, Phoenix found himself in awe of how much Morgan Fey had seen fit not to teach her daughter. "Saint Nicholas is another name for Santa Claus. Actually, the name Santa Claus comes from the Dutch version of his name, Sinterklaas, and--"

"Mr. Nick..."

Phoenix cleared his throat. "Right," he said sheepishly. Anyway, I'll just continue..."

"The children were nestled all snug in their beds,  
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads."

He paused for an interruption, as he assumed the child in front of him would ask what a sugar plum was. When she only cocked her head curiously, he continued, marveling that she had to ask who Saint Nicholas was but didn't even care about the sugar plums.

"And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,  
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap."

Phoenix was quite startled when a small hand struck his cheek, and he stared incredulously at Pearl Fey, who was now sitting up and glaring angrily at him. "What on earth was that for?" he demanded.

The girl huffed. "How dare you, Mr. Nick! Taking naps with strange women – why, Mystic Maya would be heartbroken! You should be ashamed of yourself!"

It was all Phoenix could do to keep from laughing. However, he managed to reign it in – thankfully so, as he suspected that otherwise he'd suffer another slap for it. When he finally felt he could safely talk, he replied, "Pearl... the story isn't about me. It's not even a real story... it's just made up. You know what that is, right?"

"Of course I do," Pearl responded. "Made up is like the stories Mystic Maya tells me, right? Like the Steel Samurai?"

"Exactly," Phoenix responded, letting out a sigh of relief. "So you don't need to worry about anything in the story, because none of it happened. It's just for fun." Pearl, apparently satisfied, nodded and pulled her blankets back up around her as she sank back into the bed. After a moment, the lawyer continued his recitation.

"When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,  
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.  
Away to the window I..."

He paused, frowning as he struggled to remember the verse.

"Ran?" Pearl suggested. He shook his head. "Walked?"

"No, it's... oh! Now I remember."

"Away to the window I flew like a flash,  
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.  
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow  
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below."

Pearl stared in horror. "Mr. Nick! How can you say things like that? If Mystic Maya heard you saying such naughty words..." Phoenix gulped as he thought back to the verse he'd just recited. Perhaps it might have been better to edit it slightly... he made a mental note to change any other seemingly questionable words in the poem that might come up.

"No, Pearls... they're not bad words, not like this. Sometimes a word might be bad to say in one way, but it's okay to say another time... do you know what I mean?"

"No."

He groaned, running a hand through his spiky hair. "What I mean is that... well, do you know how some words mean more than one thing?" Pearl nodded. "Well, sometimes, a word means more than one thing, and one of the things it means is bad. But the other one isn't, so as long as that's what you mean, it's okay to say it. Do you get it now?" Pearl looked uncertain, but nodded anyway, and Phoenix let out a relieved sigh before launching into the next verse.

"When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

"With a little old driver, so lively and quick,  
I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.  
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,  
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!"

Phoenix paused to look at Pearl and see how she was taking it. She stared at him in rapt fascination and he smiled, pleased that she was following along.

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!  
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!  
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!  
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

"What a lot of names," Pearl interjected, stifling a yawn. "How does he remember them all?"

Phoenix chuckled. "Santa has a very good memory. After all, he also remembers all the little boys and girls in the world who have been good or bad."

"Oh, that's right." Pearl considered the fact, and Phoenix took the opportunity to go on as she mulled over that point.

"As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,  
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.  
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,  
With the sleigh full of toys, and St Nicholas too."

"A hurricane?" Pearl looked mildly worried.

"No, no, there wasn't a hurricane... he's just saying it's _like_ a hurricane."

"He, who? I thought you were telling the story."

Phoenix sighed. "Never mind, Pearl. Don't worry about it." The young girl looked ready to protest, so Phoenix rushed on before she could speak.

"And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof  
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.  
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,  
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.

"He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,  
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.  
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,  
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack."

Phoenix paused once again, and inwardly cheered as he noted that Pearl's eyelids were drooping. The young medium yawned, and Phoenix crossed his fingers as he dared to hope that she would drop off soon.

"His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!  
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!  
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,  
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.

"The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,  
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.  
He had a broad face and a little round belly,  
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!"

Phoenix stopped as he realized that Pearl was softly snoring. _That worked well_. He briefly considered continuing the poem, but shook his head, deciding there was no point if she was already asleep. He stood and smiled at the sleeping figure, then stooped to brush a bit of hair from her face. "Merry Christmas to all," he murmured, turning to the door. "And to all a good night." Finding himself feeling rather sleepy, the defense attorney ambled back to his room and ducked under the covers. Within minutes, he was fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Get up, Nick! Get up!" The excited voice was accompanied by a flurry of energetic knocks, and Phoenix groaned as he was unceremoniously pulled into consciousness.

"Yeah, I'm getting up, don't worry..." Biting back a yawn, he rolled out of bed and rubbed his eyes blearily. Just what time was it? A glance at the window told him that it wasn't even dawn yet, and he cringed. Who would want to be up this early?

"Nick!" A moment later, he had his answer as Maya swung open his door, barreling in with a giddy grin. "C'mon, lazybones! Get out of bed already!"

"M-Maya!" Phoenix stammered, jerking his arm back as Maya attempted to pull him up. "Can't I at least get dressed first?" The young woman paused to eye him critically, and Phoenix shifted uncomfortably. While he was hardly indecent in shorts and a T-shirt, he didn't feel it would be appropriate to walk around the Fey household dressed as such.

"Oh, come on! You're wearing clothes, aren't you? Anyway, it's Christmas! Who cares about clothes when there are presents to be opened?" Before he had time to protest, Maya yanked him up, dragging the hapless attorney out of his room. Phoenix sighed, realizing that resistance was futile.

Phoenix was quite surprised when the two Fey girls planted themselves in front of the Christmas tree to find that had hadn't been the only one to stash presents underneath it the night before. A veritable mountain of gifts loomed, nearly as high as the tree itself. Of course, some of them were quite large, the logical side of the lawyer pointed out, so there really weren't as many as there seemed. He pushed back that thought, not wishing to consider anything that would dampen his Christmas cheer. He turned to nudge Maya, and whispered. "I see you had fun with the presents, huh?"

Maya gave him an odd look. "Me? All my presents were under there yesterday afternoon. Those must be from Santa!" Before Phoenix could respond, Maya launched herself at the pile, savagely ripping apart the wrapping of the nearest gift to bear her name. Sighing, Phoenix shook his head, deciding that he'd play along. He sat down on the carpet beside Maya and searched for a gift with his own name on the tag.

"This one must be yours," Pearl announced, handing a small box to Phoenix. "It's blue." Phoenix was about to point out that the color of the wrapping didn't necessarily indicate the intended recipient when he realized that it was indeed his name scribbled on the tag in sloppy writing, and he smiled. "Thanks, Pearls," he said, accepting the present. Though the tag claimed the gift was from "Santa Closs", the childish scrawl was enough to give the defense attorney a good guess of who was really behind it. Grinning, he peeled back the wrapping.

It wasn't long before all the presents were unwrapped. Phoenix, now finding himself the proud owner of a kitten sweater, a checkers set, a board game called "Guess Who?", and two very pink mittens – "They match your tie," Maya had pointed out – was feeling very happy with the morning, and had even forgotten his previous grumpiness at being woken early. Maya and Pearl had both seemed to wholly appreciate the gifts he'd gotten them, and were currently making use of one of them – a drawing pad, on which they were both contributing elements to what they claimed was a portrait of him. After seeing the absurdly jagged eyebrows and mohawk hairdo, Phoenix wasn't sure he agreed.

"Hey Nick, what color underwear do you wear?"

"_What?_" The defense attorney glanced at the drawing in alarm, only slightly mollified to see that the caricature was, indeed, wearing pants. "Why would you ask something like that?!"

Maya shrugged. "Just curious. I'm thinking about the next drawing we should do in here..." Phoenix's jaw dropped, and the spirit medium burst out in laughter a moment later. "Oh, relax! Jeez, Nick, you really have no sense of humor! I was just kidding, but you should have seen the look on your face!" Reddening, Phoenix turned away with as much dignity as he could muster as Maya cackled at him.

_At least it was going well until then,_ he thought with a sigh. Still, he realized, he was pretty happy with the holiday. _I hope Larry has a girlfriend next Christmas, too..._


End file.
